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| My Tips and Advice: Wedding Ceremony | | 1. Candle Safety | | If you´re lighting candles during your ceremony, be sure that there aren´t any decorative beads, ribbon or lace around the candles---they can easily catch fire. | | | 2. Scriptural Love Song | Song of Solomon has some lovely verses for weddings. One excellent choice is Song of Solomon 2:8-14, 16a; 8:6-7, a song about lovers that includes the verses, "´Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me.´ My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. My lover is mine and I am his . . ."
| | | 3. What Does the Soloist Wear? | | In my experience, anyone who is wearing the same color as the bridesmaids is often confused as being a member of the wedding party---once I wore a peach-colored dress to a peach-themed wedding and everyone thought I was a junior bridesmaid! If your soloist sings often at weddings, she probably has an outfit or two in some neutral colors that she uses for such occasions. You might ask her what she´s planning to wear, but you can´t really ask her to buy something new just to wear for your wedding. Ideally a non-obtrusive color such as taupe or navy blue would be nice, but in the end the choice is up to her. | | | 4. Wedding Ceremony Places | | Often churches and other popular wedding ceremony places are booked far in advance, especially during the summer months. If you´re in a bind, try having your ceremony in an unusual place like an art museum, arboretum, public park or movie theater. Be creative! | | | 5. Handfasting Vows | Know now before you go further, that since your lives have crossed in this life you have formed ties between each other. As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real, the ideals which give meaning to both this ceremony and the institution of marriage.
With full awareness, know that within this circle you are not only declaring your intent to be handfasted before your friends and family, but you speak that intent also to your creative higher powers.
The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union; they will cross the years and lives of each soul´s growth.
Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?
Yes, we seek to enter.
In times past it was believed that the human soul shared characteristics with all things divine. It is this belief which assigned virtues to the cardinal directions; East, South, West and North. It is in this tradition that a blessing is offered in support of this ceremony.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the East. Communication of the heart, mind, and body Fresh beginnings with the rising of each Sun. The knowledge of the growth found in the sharing of silences.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the South. Warmth of hearth and home The heat of the heart´s passion The light created by both To lighten the darkest of times.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the West. The deep commitments of the lake The swift excitement of the river The refreshing cleansing of the rain The all encompassing passion of the sea.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the North Firm foundation on which to build Fertility of the fields to enrich your lives A stable home to which you may always return.
Each of these blessings from the four cardinal directions emphasizes those things which will help you build a happy and successful union. Yet they are only tools. Tools which you must use together in order to create what you seek in this union.
I bid you look into each others eyes.
[Groom´s Name], Will you cause her pain?
I May
Is that your intent?
No
[Bride´s Name], Will you cause him pain?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
*To Both*
Will you share each other´s pain and seek to ease it?
Yes
And so the binding is made. Join your hands
*First cord is draped across the bride and grooms hands*
[Bride´s Name], Will you share his laughter?
Yes
[Groom´s Name], Will you share her laughter?
Yes
*To Both*
Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?
Yes
And so the binding is made.
*Second cord is draped across the couples hands*
[Bride´s Name], Will you burden him?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
[Groom´s Name], Will you burden her?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
*To Both*
Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?
Yes
And so the binding is made.
*Drape third cord across the couples, hands*
[Bride´s Name], will you share his dreams?
Yes
[Groom´s Name], will you share her dreams?
Yes
*To Both*
Will you dream together to create new realities and hopes?
Yes
And so the binding is made.
*Drape fourth cord across the couples hands*
[Groom´s Name], will you cause her anger?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
[Bride´s Name], will you cause him anger?
I may
Is that your intent?
No
*To Both*
Will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?
We will.
And so the binding is made.
*Drape fifth cord across the couples hands*
[Bride´s Name], Will you honor him?
I will
[Groom´s Name], Will you honor her?
I will
*To Both*
Will you seek to never give cause to break that honor?
We shall never do so.
And so the binding is made.
*Drape sixth cord across the couples hands*
*Tie cords together while saying:*
The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the cords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making of breaking of this union.
*Once cords are tied together they are removed and placed on altar*
| | | 6. Program Maps | | Even if you put maps in the invitations, it´s a good idea also to put a map to the reception in the ceremony program. People sometimes forget them! | | | 7. Reserved Seating | | If you have a lot of guests coming to your wedding and want to reserve several pews behind the first for immediate family members of the bride (left-hand side) and the groom (right-hand side), you can include pew cards in the invitations of the guests who are to be seated there. The guests show the cards to the ushers, who then seat them in the correct area. | | | 8. The Bible on Love | If you´d like a shorter Bible scripture that talks about love and friendship in general, try John 15: 9-17, which discusses love. Part if the verse is "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
| | | 9. Humorous ´Good Wife´ Reading | Looking for a little something funny to read at the ceremony, reception, or to print in your program? You might want to use this excerpt from a 1950s home economics textbook titled "The Good Wives Guide".
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.
Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you´ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables.
Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Prepare the children, take a few minutes to wash their hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise from the washer, dryer, and vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to see him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his very real need to be at home and relax.
Your goal. Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don´t greet him with complaints and problems. Don´t complain if he´s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low soothing and pleasant voice. Don´t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity.
Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
A good wife always knows her place.
---Author Unknown
| | | 10. God´s Creation of the Earth | One great Bible reading is from Genesis 2:4-9, 15-24 and discusses God´s creation of the Earth and of man and woman. It includes the scripture, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called `woman,´ for she was taken out of man."
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."
| | | 11. One Usher, Two Ushers, Three Ushers, Four . . | | If you´d like to have ushers to seat guests at your wedding, the general formula is one usher for every fifty guests. So if you´re inviting 100 people, you´d have two ushers; for 200 people you´d need four. | | | 12. Nursery Know-How | | If you´re inviting children to your wedding but would rather they stay in the nursery, you can have a nursery attendent stationed in the church foyer or near the guest book to let guests know that they can bring their children to the nursery. If you´ve invited children, you can´t force parents to leave them in the nursery, but you can print a line in your program stating that fussy or noisy children should be taken into the nursery. You can also assign an usher at the back of the church to approach parents of fussy/noisy children during the ceremony and volunteer quietly to show them to the nursery. | | | 13. Sample Wedding Ceremonies - Apache Vows | | You might use this Apache Wedding Prayer as a sample wedding ceremony vow: Now you will feel no rain... For each of you will be shelter to the other. Now you will feel no cold... For each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there is no more loneliness... For each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two bodies... But there is only one life before you. Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your togetherness... And may your days be good and long upon the earth! Another Apache wedding prayer might be: "Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficult and fear assail your relationship - as they threaten all relationships at one time or another - remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight." | | | 14. Creative Wedding Ideas | | Instead of having the minister face the congregation, have him stand with his back to the congregation so your friends and family can see your faces. For a perfect creative wedding idea, have you and your beloved stand face-to-face throughout the ceremony instead. | | | 15. Native American Reading | You might use this Apache Wedding Prayer as a reading for your wedding:
Now you will feel no rain...
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold...
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness...
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies...
But there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your togetherness...
And may your days be good and long upon the earth! | |
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