Unplanned Pregnancy

You never thought it would come to this. You didn't have this in mind. You may be fourteen, twenty-one, or forty, and this could simply be a shock to you. "Me? Pregnant?" you ask rather shocked as you look down at the pregnancy test or at your doctor. "How did that happen?"

You may be at the height of your career, on the honor roll, about to enter college, or simply living paycheck-to-paycheck. The fact is you're pregnant, and you didn't intend on it. "What now? Am I supposed to just put my life on hold?" you ask yourself. "This could not have come at a worse time," someone else is thinking. Or, "what am I supposed to tell my parents? They're going to kill me!"

Okay, so you're between a rock and a hard place. Calm down. Take a deep breath. Ask yourself what options you have. "Options? What options?"

You actually have three options:

Parenting
Adoption
Abortion

Parenting may not be for you at this time, regardless of your age or situation, and well… abortion may just not be an option to you. Interested in other alternatives to abortion? Visit Abortion Alternatives and Unplanned Pregnancy.

If you're just not ready to parent and not considering abortion, adoption is another option you may consider. Other than parenting, adoption will offer your child an opportunity for permanency. Being that times have changed drastically over the past 50 years, as a birthmother, you would have the opportunity to determine which home might be best for your child. As a mother, you need to be comfortable knowing your child is in good hands, even if those hands are not yours.

Adoption is the legal placement and complete transfer of parental rights and obligations from one family to another. All obligations and rights to the child are surrendered by the birthparent(s) and assumed by the adoptive parents.

There are three types of adoption birthparents are welcome to choose from:

1. Open Adoption
2. Semi-Open Adoption
3. Closed Adoption

Open adoption allows the birthmother to select a family for her child. Open adoption is the disclosure of identifying information between the two families. An agreement is often reached between the birth and adoptive parents, in terms of ongoing contact.

Semi-open adoption often depends on the agency through which the adoption is occurring. This could be the meeting of the birthparents and adoptive parents prior to or after the adoption, usually only on a first name basis. In many cases, contact is agreed upon by both families, unless mediation is requested from the adoption agency. Mediated contact allows the adoption agency to control and coordinate contact between the two families.

Closed adoption, also known as confidential adoption, is a situation in which the birthparents and adoptive parents have no knowledge of each other, in terms of identification. The adoption usually occurs with the help of a social worker and an adoption agency who work together to select the adoptive parents and complete the adoption process. This is the only type of adoption recognized by the law.

If you would still like to think about it or want more information, there are several websites you can visit. As a mother-to-be considering adoption, Birthmother.Adoption.com is the best place to start; explore your options. For more information on open adoption, visit Open Adoption.

If you are a teen and just need to see the big picture, visit TeenPregnancy.com. If you are interested in adoption but skeptical about another family raising your child, visit ParentProfiles.com. Want to chat with others who have been or are in the same shoes? Visit the Unplanned Pregnancy Forums. For articles on unplanned pregnancy, see Unplanned Pregnancy Articles.