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gewgaw

gewgaw

                                                               . . . a splendid plaything

1/23/2005

Unreal

It has been snowing here, on and off, for days. Friday evening the snow came down at a record pace - till even the city’s army of salt trucks were outflanked.

By Saturday afternoon the back alley was over a foot-deep; the drifts along plowed streets and sidewalks often twice that high. God bless the people who go out there and shovel. It makes such a difference!

As the blizzard whirled and swirled, I walked with Seth first to get coffee and strudel, then to see In the Realms of The Unreal - a new, feature-length documentary about Chicago native and “outsider artist” Henry Darger.

Relatively reclusive and unknown, Darger wrote three huge volumes (the largest 15,000 pages long) about a fantasy world where children battle cruel, heartless adults. In a series of small, cluttered rooms, he constructed a vast alternate reality in which the Vivian Girls (7 brave young princesses) lead an epic slave rebellion with equal parts goodness, grace and cheek.

Darger was an obsessive collector and archivist (he tracked the weather here for over 10 years, noting with painstaking detail how local weathermen failed to accurately predict it). He dug up newspapers and magazines from the trash, clipping images of children (mostly young girls) and pasting them over the pages of old telephone books. Later, he appropriated these images for use in his vast watercolor illustrations and collages.

The paintings (sometimes several feet in length) show his child-subjects in a variety of settings: frolicking with each other among strange plants and winged creatures, running through dark forests to escape evil captors, fighting alongside a few adult compatriots, choked, strung up and bleeding, and in chaotic melee…. scores of them gutted and expiring.

Especially odd, most of the children are naked, cherubic young girls who sport male genitalia. In the background - weather. Lightening, storms, billowing clouds.

By “genitalia", I mean a sort of oddly-sketched, finger-like penis and tiny, featureless testicles… devoid of overtly sexualizing detail. Some have interpreted his work as the precursor (or result) of psychotic rage and murder… others contest this claim. But here, the subject is treated with much more distance.

On camera, various people speculate - but no one judges. Perhaps Darger didn’t know that girls were different from boys. He grew up in state homes (sex segregated) and led a life of (apparently) chaste devotion, working as a janitor and cook at local churches, and attending mass each day - often, more than once.

Alternately, could this combination of girlish innocence and boy body (along with “male qualities” such as fighting bravely, “riding the best horses", and “standing upright in the stirrups") be a reaction to his own childhood suffering at the hands of men? Or a desperate attempt to re-connect with his lost sister - who was adopted shortly after his mother died in childbirth, never to be seen again?

Whatever the reason, he created a strange world of hermaphroditic warriors, struggling against evil in the name of Christ. The eye-popping color and repetition of form is overwhelming to begin with. When combined with themes of flight, war, torture and peril - well, it’s pretty compelling stuff.

For the most part, the documentary eschews analysis of his technique or style - focusing instead upon the contrast between Darger’s real life and his fantasy world - his forgettable presence and unforgettable work. In parts, the works are digitally animated; elsewhere, characters from the paintings appearing in stock footage of Chicago streets. One wonders… did he see things that way, too? Did the pictures have a life of their own?

There seem to be a lot of connections between Darger’s childhood struggle with authority, his lifelong struggle with obedience to God, and the furious battles his heroines fought. The work feels like a commentary - a processing of bitter resentments and heartbreaking disappointments. But for Darger, it was a private, internal dialog: only on his deathbed did someone tell him his work was beautiful. His response? “Too late now.”

Did he harbor hopes of recognition? That’s hard to imagine. And if he did, would that make a difference to us? Should art be made in consideration of others (as Seth said today: a gift you give to your audience)… or made in relative isolation, compulsively, because it must be? Is it better to make something so it can be consumed - or does that corrupt it beyond measure? Is Darger’s work “pure” because it was created “outside” our realm of appreciation?

As I said earlier, I’ve been having a lot of discussions about blogging and its potential as “art". Justin’s recent film-post generates particularly prickly comments about this - because while somewhat self-focused and arguably non-performative, it is also deliberately constructed and displayed for public consumption. Was that consumption something Justin considered, from the perspective of “what it gives” - or simply a compulsive archiving?

The fact that it is public makes such a difference. Because Justin has an audience, he is no longer “outside” - and therefore, subject to critical lenses that Darger never will be. Yet as a medium, the blog is “pulp” - which lends it an air of authenticity. Can something be both unconsidered and artistic? Or is the spontaneous (yet public) release of tensions just … a solipsistic waste of the “material” for greater work?

Trekking home from the movie, Seth and I discussed this and other questions. At least, we talked as best we could, considering the weather. Snow flew at our faces, gathering and freezing on our eyelashes, crusting our shoes and pant legs. I slipped once and caught myself against a brick wall - tearing my leather gloves.

Once off the bus, I was struck by how unfamilar the city is during such weather. Mountains of white powder dulled every shape and sound. Entire streets faded from view, lamplight swallowed by the storm’s frantic particles. Unreal!

1/22/2005

Colleagues

On Friday night I went over to Robin and Roshanna’s place for dinner and a little encouragement. Both on the verge of tenure - they have been through the final push, and remember it well.

“You’re miserable!” they smile. “Stick with it! You’re almost done!”

Seeing them was good medicine. They fed me, gave me advice, and let me run around the house like a madwoman with the kids. I really needed it.

Lily is as rambunctious and precocious as ever. Towards the middle of dinner, when conversation got serious (CS program design, enrollment issues, the historical value of blogs), she rested her head in her hands and sighed aloud. “Can someone pleeeese change the subject?”

After we’d filled our bellies full of delicious fresh Mexican food and sweet clementines, it was time for bed. Lily turned to me in her princess-pink and sliver nightgown with a curious smile. “Robin, did you bring your pjs?” We discussed and agreed that a sleepover is on the top of my post-graduation to-do list.

See her smiling and goofing for the camera here, in my first photos of 2005.

1/21/2005

Unbelievable!

Troy Hurtubise (the bear suit wonder) claims to have made an important new discovery! Could it… really be true?

1/20/2005

Give Us Your Voice!

Text from Return to Darfur by Deborah Scroggins - in this month’s Vogue:

Rage is palpable in Darfur this time around, the feeling that people are spoiling for a fight. At the camp of Zam Zam, we notice a particular tension in the atmosphere. The children who usually run after us are all staying inside their huts; the adults outside have a grim, determined look. A man putting up a shelter donated by UNICEF tells me that some girls who went out looking for firewood the day before have not come back. Knowing that refugee women all over Darfur have accused soldiers and janjaweed of raping and beating them when they leave the camps, I ask to meet their parents. Another man agrees to take me, but instead of finding the parents he sits me down with a young sheik and another group of women.

The sheik tells me a rambling tale about how these women were coming back from El Fasher when armed men set upon them. Then he asks me if I’d like to talk to another girl who was stabbed. I’m not quite sure who is supposed to have stabbed her or where but I agree. We find the girl, whose name is Samira, bent over the ground in a peach veil. A crowd pushes the two of us into a hut and pulls a piece of cloth over the opening. By the dim light inside, I can see that her eyes are filled with tears and her lips are trembling. Slowly she pulls up her skirt to reveal a bloody gash in her thigh. My notebook is out, but I can’t think of anything to say. I feel a miasma all too familiar from years past in the Sudan, a sense of terrible things happening that one can barely understand, much less prevent.

I know very well rape has always been a feature of war in Sudan. On that journey to Safaha, my drunken guide tried to rape me (luckily I was able to fend him off with a heavy flashlight), and many southern women have told me about being raped in the war zone. But it’s new to hear Sudanese men demanding that attention be paid - perhaps because they know human rights groups in the West have come to focus more closely on rape as a war crime, and are more likely to pay attention.

Samira is taken to MSF clinic for an examination, but before the doctor can finish, a fracas develops. A mob of turbaned, chanting Zaghawa men begins waving spears, then throwing rocks at the police. Tim decides it is time for us to leave. As we drive slowly through the crowd, the men jump onto our Land Rover, beating their fists on the windows and the roof. “Give us your voice!” they cry. “Give us your voice!”

I was reading this at breakfast today - and that last sentence actually made me cry.

In Emma’s War. Scroggins details the life of Emma McCune - a British relief worker who lived, loved, and died in Sudan. Some believe that Sudan, politically and historically, is Rwanda in slow motion. A new simulation may help students figure it out for themselves.

I wonder - would Roger be tickled, or outraged?

1/19/2005

Soon

It will be mine!

1/18/2005

Coverage

Blogging has been the subject of many long conversations for me this week - particularly since Justin posted his intense personal account of the anguish that living one’s life in a public, confessional manner can generate. People ask me: What’s that guy’s problem? Is he faking it? Is he crazy? Has anyone told him to try a diary? Like, a notebook?

What I ask is: Did you know that he’s the second link on Google, for “Justin", after Justin Timberlake? I jest, of course, but I think it’s important to remember that for all its pitfalls, communicating in this form has real potential.

Most blogs read like an open letter to whoever is interested… kind of like listening to a stranger converse with someone on the bus. Or at least, converse with themselves. People who talk to themselves (however odd) are often pretty interesting… and being heard is powerful!

As televised/corporate/mainstream media moves closer and closer to real-time or “live” and “reality” footage - what is the difference between ABC’s coverage of bloggers as 2004’s people of the year - and a home-made video blog entry about the star of that program? Youngest or no - she’s getting a lot of fulfillment and satisfaction out of these communications… and I think that rocks.

It continues to be incredibly cold here. I spent most of the day indoors, working on equations and visualizations (to figure out what the hell was going on). Rob was kind enough to aid me in this quest - and then, give me a ride home.

It was snowing - but was so cold that the snow froze into tiny pellets… too hard to form larger crystals, or stick to the ground. Heavy, they headed to the pavement, where gusty winds sculpted them into beautiful patterns… like a fluid dynamics or particle simulation gone mad. Dangerous, but beautiful!

A bunch of first-time readers wrote in this week… often focusing on my video game writing. And I realized that although I’ve been playing a bunch of new stuff, I haven’t taken the time to write down my thoughts.

Between the Urbz GBA and Riddick, I’ve been thinking a lot about simulation and characters. I’ve really noticed the punch that Riddick gets from using Vin’s shadow, voice and likeness (grounding the character in a style and attitude that is larger than life, yet somehow… authentic) and how the lack of this grounding makes the Urbz feel kinda plastic, or flat.

I’ve also noticed how flattness in a sim-oriented game (as when the prisoners in Riddick repeat lines to you even after you’ve done some craaaazy dangerous exploit) really work against this grounding. So when it happens in the Urbz, I don’t mind nearly as much. That tradeoff (between game-ness and character-ness or … mis-en-scene-ness) is really interesting to me.

Also on my mind: the unintinded gameplay consequences of poor UI or a lag in information delivery. Because I didn’t recognize that a two-pixel-wide strip of pipe hanging from the ceiling was a shower, I spent several in-game Urbz days boosting my hygiene meter by washing in a public sink. This, combined with a few other mis-handled data points gave me an unexpected taste of homelessness (or… travel in 1997’s rural China).

But it was interesting, to game the “live a productive life” system this way… to think about how little I could actually “buy” and still get along. If I could make an Urbz mod, it would be all about living on garbage and panhandling for change. Desperately Seeking Simoleans? You could dress as Madonna, hatbox-suitcase, and everything.

1/17/2005

Chilly

It is cold here. I would attempt to describe the feeling I have now about leaving my cozy office, books, and equation-filled whiteboard (going to get some dinner).. but I think the top of this evening’s Trib page really says it all:

At least I am bundled up. I’ve been wearing my vintage Persian lamb coat all weekend. I know fur is dead - but man, it sure is warm. I have two furs- both thrifted for under $30. Isn’t that better than buying something sweatshop-new, and made of plastic?

The lining (satin) has beautiful flowers all over it. Embroidery, too. Mary M. Pleak - who bought you this lovely coat? Did you wear it to the opera? Funerals? Did you pinch the cheeks of your grandchildren while wrapped in its heavy embrace?

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